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Bertbert is the second son of Quater. His story is told in the Hall of Records.

Story[]

Bertbert was created by Quater as an attempt to produce an exact duplicate of himself. However, due to Quater not having the same level of skill as Father, Bertbert turned out slightly different. Bertbert was unable to understand that he was not Quater, and he instantly made seven crowns of his own and beings in his image, one of which was also named Bertbert. But since neither Bertbert or any of his sons could create an exact copy, these beings became less and less similar to the original. The later generations suffered from birth defects and mental problems.[1]

The original Bertbert had indirectly created a civilization where the normal, good looking beings would constantly hang out in the front of a giant crowd and usually crack jokes about the ugly, strange beings that dwelt at the back of the crowd. One specific individual, Bickback, had disgusting spots on his arms, making him a freak. However, Bickback proved his wittiness by making his cousin Hiface cry by insulting him. Eventually, the front of the crowd accepted Bickback as one of them, but Bickback continuously made fun of the ugly beings in the back of it.

Soon enough, the crowd wanted Bickback to make an insulting song about his brother Lytle, who was literally suffering from retardation. Lytle hugged Bickback and claimed, "Ly'le like Bicks!", which caused the crowd to go into a riot of laughter. Bickback soon realized his mistakes, and made a special kind of song for Lytle. Some of the crowd loved the song and realized the same mistakes Bickback experienced, though other parts of the crowd did not exactly agree. Nevertheless, Bickback continued the original Bertbert's lineage of sons.

Mak Mak, the great, great, great grandson of Bickback, created his own child named Mammur. This child was two-sided, colossal, and on each side was a gender, making Mammur both male and female. Mak Mak was not crazy about this, especially since it made Mammur arrogant in their "completeness", so he split his child in two with a crowbar. The power of the blow, while splitting the child, made the crowbar fly out of Mak Mak's grasps and into space, never to be seen by Mak Mak again.[2]

Bertbert indirectly began the Fwah Legends, which are the stories of Feh and his thirteen sons. The story was about how Feh's sons never worked and never helped out with the FwaCattle. The only son that pulled his weight was Klee, whose name meant, "give me more like this one". Klee's hardworking personality didn't settle well with the other sons, and so they strapped Klee to a FwaBull, had Klee carried away, and told Feh that Klee was dead. Klee was transported from the land of Fwah Ah to the land of Fep, where he was found on the bull and soon made into a butler for the Emperor's bodyguard. But soon the bodyguard came to realization that his wife was looking at Klee, and so he threw Klee in prison.

While in prison, Klee demonstrated his ability of interpreting messages hidden in bed-head. The Emperor awoke one morning with bed-head, and he called for Klee to interpret the message for him. Klee did so, and was appointed as Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Fep. After a drought struck the lands of Fep and Fwah Ah, Klee's brothers were forced to visit him to buy food. Klee, whom his brothers did not recognize, pulled a trick on them, fooling them more than once with the same trick.

And so, Bertbert's other sons started to become less and less intelligent. Soon enough, a being named Uh Uh was created. Uh Uh, however, could not continue making sons, as he was merely a blob of meat who wasn't even alive, and therefore could not reproduce. It is unknown from here the fate of the Bertberts, though they possibly died out.

Appearance[]

Bertbert

Berbert's statue in the Hall of Kings

Bertbert has a very humanoid appearance, having a pentagonal head, a square nose, and two oval eyes positioned against the nose, thus close to each other. He has a long thin moustache and thick eyebrows. His crown is positioned on the left side of his head, and overall the crown is rather small as opposed to the long crown Hoborg has. His body is tall and somewhat bulky, with a tunic/vest and what looks like armour on his arms and legs. He lacks a left hand, and appears to have a short blade in place of it. Other than this, Bertbert's other features are unknown, including his colour, voice, and personality.

Seven Sons
Ogdilla · Bertbert · Numeron · Ottoborg · Homen · Hoborg · Arven
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